Good ones first or bad ones?

BAD

1. I'm growing this having-decreasing-number-of-friends-and-increasing-number-of-enemies issue. Not that i want/like it to be like that. it just happens. I have problems in socializing.
Current poeple I still talk to in daily basis (office people excluded): mom.
Current people I still talk to a few times in a week : saree, amet, topik, jenol, aming, karin, livy.
Current people I talk to occasionally : intan, isna, chi.
Current people I haven't talk to for months/years : 98% listed as People I Know.

2. Still about socializing issue. For the record (or maybe not), i have nothing against people of my own kind (chinese, if u wanna know), i just have something against a few people of my own kind working at the same space with me. namely, Office People. Only a few. because they are fucking racial and they are smug and disgusting and see themselves in higher position than other people with different color of skin (dudes, Tragedy of May 1998 is forgotten, isn't it?) It was my fucking birthday and i will never forget, you assholes. But whatever, that's not the point. idk. just. i have problems. that's all. the thing about why people tend to dislike me is unanswerable. maybe because of my face, 2maybe the way i walk, maybe the way i talk, maybe the way i look at people, maybe the way i eat, maybe the way i smile, maybe every way made in my life leads to people's annoyance. i guess you are, too.

3. Money is the bitchiest among the bitches.And I fucking love that bitch.

4. Feeling down is more than pitying yourself. it's also finding yourself at the lowest position in political seats. Making coffee for big bosses and wiping their shits off the flour with your fucking tongue.

GOOD

1. Thank Dog morning coffee is still available every monday-friday, saturday is a self-service-your-ass day. Sunday is swallow-the-sun-in-your-sleep day. I love you mom

2. Salary is still there, tho never changes.

3. Money and Mockery come together. Pick both or none. Paying back the money will be an enlightening moment later. Umm... Did I mention that money and mockery come together?


Also, a bit late,
but here's my new year resolution for 2009

1. make money
2. go to college and pass it without any trouble
3. give less shit to enemies. same thing goes to friends.
4. practice to tug the lips up with the mirror
5. make money
6. stay single
7. less flirting, more working, most self-caring
8. be smug, be nice, be caring and stab people on their back. because you grow up into what people always say about you, eh?

sounds like fooling around. indeed it is.


I NEED MY FIX. PEOPLE YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS

Some nice things in my life recently (because i just want to write a happy!entry sometime. shut up. what)

1. takarai_karin wrote me a bob/gee ficlet ! And i can't say i love her more than i already do ♥

2. I finished this two days ago. well, there wasnt much i could do, since it's been months for an amateur to stop drawing and when she started again, it just felt so fucking awkward. Surely, thank Frank Iero because I can never resist how his face always has this 'drawme drawme drawme" expression XD

3. I also drew a ficfanart based on stereomer's fic Godspeed us to sea
Inspired by a fic commentary by stereomer which talked about what happened after the incident.
Excerpts:
mikey and alicia move south. gerard probably takes a moment to napalm pete's car or something, and then hops into frank's old pontiac and makes his way west, only stopping in a gas station bathroom to dye his hair black. mikey eventually sets up a voicemail box and checks in every now and then, and he knows gerard listens to them because it's empty every time he goes to leave another message. and they live.

bolded one, so u know which scene the fanart is. Of course i will never have enough courage to go and email her and say "hey, i draw something for you!" when said 'something' isn't all that good to be shown off (and now, i wonder why i post this up... maybe i just want to show it off to no-one at particular. a bit)

4. My job is going better and better. People are being nice, except one. I just. I just don't know why the thing between us changed so quick. i just can't never get it, when i was at school, the same thing happened. just, why? agh, not a so happy post it turns out to be,eh?

5. I happen to have Dir en grey's newest album, Uroboros. That probably was the happiest moment this week. They change constantly. only leaving a really, really thin and small trace of their earlier album's sounds. I still can't stop myself from nodding my head and humming along each song. I LOVE DIR EN GREY!

6. what else? overall, my life is comfy enough right now. University is just a few steps away, i have a nice enough job, i can buy 2 or 3 books a month. currently:
- Twilight (Stephenie Meyer) which was made into movie, i didn't watch it, tho)
- Kau Memanggilku Malaikat (or You Call Me an Angel -in english-) by Arswendo Atmowiloto. He's one of my fav indonesian writers.
- Rahasia Bulan (or Moon's Secret) a compilation of short stories which concentrated mainly on GAY and LESBIANism. Most of the writers there are really well-known names, so you won't be dissappointed. My fav : Mereka Benci AKu Banci, Merindu Randu, and the last one. i forget the title, just a really hilarious story to end all the conflicts inside the book XD

overall, I'm feeling soooo fine! ^_^v

i'm running over stacks of words and words that make me sick (usually i love words, really, but not this. no, not this)
and i'm running out of brain-cells because...because.

(like, really, what the fuck, hey government?
you just want to look superior?
because you established a harder one and wanna get our generation crashed down?
i can't take this.
no, thank you)

and hey, you gotta answer this, all guys in the world.
-do you fucking ignore the girl who turns you down like she's invisible/a kind of bacteria/virus/someone you will never want to know?-

because seriously, that's the stupidest thing i've ever learned in my whole life (and i dont like this, i really hate it. oh fuck you all)

Watched one of Ang Lee's starred by Tony Leung movie yesterday. What can i say? it was good. well, okay, good like, the usual thing came out from a Ang Lee. except the sex scenes were kinda disturbing. i mean, dude, do we need that much bed-scene just to make you sure that the girl was a whore? not a whore, okay, but something Tony Leung had to sleep with for the sake of the movie.

not that i hate it. i dont like it either. That's too much. Though the ending was like "hey, my favorite!". i just have to say that *shrugs*

if you're going to watch, make sure your parents are not around. And if you're gonna watch, just prepare yourself for some porn-like scenes (around 6-7. forgot)

I was too late to grab the ticket

Someone did on the New Year 2008

 

(Open my door for the sixth times today as if someone knocked on. wishing it was a friend but sadly just a daydream)

An extra junk: I.

I stench since I’m a decaying blue fish

Hate being poor is like everyday when books are your knight in shining armor and you just look at it from a far in longing way (coz you and I are just mobs)

 

I don’t ask anyone to say “I understand”

Or “I’ll help you”

Nonono

All I need is just shoulder’s warmth

(Have recently been infatuated over dejection and shoulder’s warmth)

 

 

 

 

(-accidentally- touch your arm is like heaven falls on earth)

Between guilt and glee but I don’t fucking care anymore

, despite the fact that your arms and hands are cold like ice

Doraemon sends me a lotion that makes hot feels cold and the opposite way around

Thank him

It’s just I found my head aches seeing you

Hence I keep on looking

Coz I just love pain so much

….Welcome to my life….

 

Woke up at 6 in the morning (late)
Found coffee already served
Drank 4 cups in one go
Turned on the TV
Saw news about Tibet and China
Turned off the TV
Gagged
Felt sick
“Be nicer to your stomach next time”, heard mom said

Went to school (late)
Stared at blankness
Hand held a ballpoint
Scribing senselessly on white paper
Didn’t know what was lectured
Almost dozed off
“Turn off the music and get out from my class”, heard the teacher said

Went home (at time)
Bathed
Got out
Stopped a cab
To theatre
Bought 10000BC ticket (again)
“Only for one person?” heard the ticket booth girl asked

Cried watching the movie (a tear dropped)
Thanked god came alone
Found people stared at
“Came unaccompanied to watch movie?” heard their mind asked

A loner
A loser
Devouring the pain
Enjoying the solitude

“Feeling blissful and miserable at the same time”

my sister succesfully broke my pc up. thank you sis, i REALLY love you so much
in addition, broke her mp4 player 2 days ago, maybe the broken pc could make a good excuse.


a friend came and hello my dear,
thank you for saving me from this boredom

school sucks 
like usual

The thing about me liking my friend's boyfriend and being so cruel with saying I don't but keep on sticking my nose around the boy and irritates the girlfriend.
thank you.